My beloved husband, Kent, died in January 2012, 3 years after diagnosis of a brain tumour. Our son was 2 1/2 and our daughter 3 months old. He and I were far too young. I am now hurtling through the black space of life without him.

Saturday, 24 May 2014

Prescription ladders

-I wrote this late last year, soon after I wrote "Grief and the Black Dog,"
and soon after that I got myself a ladder-

I seem to be lost
Somewhere inside of me
Grasping and clawing
Under a heavy black blanket
Send down a ladder
So I can find me again.

I saw his face

I saw his face in my dreams last night. As so often I do, but this time, unusually, it was healthy. Perhaps it was only a dream, I have had so many powerful ones that have become nothing but broken.

It was beautiful, of course. Crystal clear, his features sharp and face glowing, more than I have ever seen in this life. "I love you so much," he said, with his smile. Thank you love, I know you do, I know.

Please come and tell the kids one day (night) too.