My beloved husband, Kent, died in January 2012, 3 years after diagnosis of a brain tumour. Our son was 2 1/2 and our daughter 3 months old. He and I were far too young. I am now hurtling through the black space of life without him.

Tuesday, 7 August 2012


Fun. I miss having fun. The little guy is fun of course. But I miss the humour that Kent and I shared and the humour that he brought. We used to have a lot of laughs. A husband and wife are a lot of things to each other, but one of these is just having fun together - that never faded for us. I miss being carefree and lighthearted. No doubt having small children and paying a mortgage and being seriously sleep deprived wouldn't be quite the same as our early married life, but compared to this of course it would be a breeze. There are fun things now, we have good days and do enjoyable things, but these come with a such large stone hung around my heart. Sometimes I want to just chuck in all the pain and sadness and say I'm done with you, but I can't, because as long as he's not here that stone will remain.

1 comment:

  1. I loved they way you and Kent would look at each other with a wry smile, silently reminding each other of an in joke or a laugh your shared on the Mediterranean or something. You clearly enjoyed each other and being in each other's company. You were an inspiration to all of us to keep that alive in our own relationships. I am sure when you talk to Kent now, you still, as best you can, have these moments. Thanks for your example.