My beloved husband, Kent, died in January 2012, 3 years after diagnosis of a brain tumour. Our son was 2 1/2 and our daughter 3 months old. He and I were far too young. I am now hurtling through the black space of life without him.

Saturday, 13 April 2013


I sat under the bell tower on Saturday. Beside the brick wall, you know, where we had some photos taken. I could feel what you felt like in your suit, and what it felt like to be wearing my dress. I could feel your hand in mine.

I lay and watched the clouds flying across the sunny sky. They moved so fast that it looked as the though the tower was falling towards me. Crushing me. I tried to see past the clouds, past the blue sky and in to Heaven.

One day it will come down. The bricks will be smashed to the ground. The red carpet, the wooden pews, the smell of old wood, the beautiful windows, all pulled to pieces. Gone.

Last Saturday was our Wedding Anniversary. The church where we were married is less than 10 % earthquake proof and is to be pulled down.

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