My beloved husband, Kent, died in January 2012, 3 years after diagnosis of a brain tumour. Our son was 2 1/2 and our daughter 3 months old. He and I were far too young. I am now hurtling through the black space of life without him.

Saturday, 19 September 2015

Tonight and yesterday

Tonight we will eat and drink
to remember and honour,
kissing each other on the cheek,
checking in my eyes
to see if I'm OK.
We'll make good conversation
and admire the children,
and catch glimpses of another face in theirs
and wish, wish that there was
another chair full.

How different to the other kind
of remembering, just yesterday,
stretched out flat
on a rectangle piece of grass
dropping tears down to bones,
cracking the blue sky
with the sound of a pain
that time doesn't take,
and asking him to make sure
that he's the first one there to meet me
when I arrive.