My beloved husband, Kent, died in January 2012, 3 years after diagnosis of a brain tumour. Our son was 2 1/2 and our daughter 3 months old. He and I were far too young. I am now hurtling through the black space of life without him.

Sunday, 15 April 2012

How it is

"There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in times gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung
No wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we'll live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed."

Fantine, Les Miserables.

1 comment:

  1. I was thinking about this the other day. It goes straight to the gut, eh.

    I wonder if there is a kernel of hope contained in this grievous, tragic song - Fantine's song and your song.

    Fantine doesn't see her daughter grow up, but grow up she does, and after the early trauma, is loved and brought up in safety by a kind, broken hero of a man. She finds love and laughter, and at the curtain call of the show, we're invited to think that Fantine gets to see Cossette blossom and grow.

    Anyway. Love you.