My beloved husband, Kent, died in January 2012, 3 years after diagnosis of a brain tumour. Our son was 2 1/2 and our daughter 3 months old. He and I were far too young. I am now hurtling through the black space of life without him.

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Mind vs Body

Here are a few things I wrote about grief in the early days. The intensity of the first couple of things is less now. It's still there, but on a different scale.

  • It's not possible to do normal things or talk about normal things for long. The pressure inside, the need to  return to grieving, starts to build, almost to the point of panic.
  • Even if your mind is doing other things, your body doesn't forget. Your body starts to drag, your legs are wading through mud. 
  • It is possible to think about normal things and do normal things while you are grieving. It is possible to laugh and enjoy things while at the same time still feel huge pain.
  • Grief affects your lungs. So during those times when you're in so deep and you think "all I have to do is keep breathing," even that becomes difficult.
  • It's an effective weight loss programme.

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