My beloved husband, Kent, died in January 2012, 3 years after diagnosis of a brain tumour. Our son was 2 1/2 and our daughter 3 months old. He and I were far too young. I am now hurtling through the black space of life without him.

Monday, 7 May 2012


Oh it's a rough read isn't it? I really should provide tissues. Other blogs I have read by young widows have been more about daily life, so though their every day is permeated by grief, the reading has a little more in it to give a little more balance. But my reason for being here is mainly to put my grief in to words, and so you are getting the worst of it. There's plenty more I'm afraid, I have many things in my head yet to write, just so little time to do it.

A while back I looked up old online chats between Kent and me, recorded forever - God bless Gmail! It's wonderful to have them, and brings Kent right in to the room when I read them, though as always the good memories bring the pain in to sharp focus. Here's one that you might enjoy... just for something different...

me: hi there love
Kent: ullo
me: how are you doing?
Kent: yeah, pretty
(the first applied to me, the second, to you...) :>


  1. Hello! Finally worked out how to stop being an invisible lurker on here, though I've been reading from the start ... and always with tears. You wrote at the beginning that writing is helpful, and necessary too. Thank you for putting your grief into such achingly beautiful words, I need to read them too. Much love xxx

  2. I know if I see smiley faces with pointy mouths that it's got to be Kent. He told me at the beginning of online chatdom that it was because he was quite pointy himself (whereas I was better suited to roundy brackets, we agreed!)

  3. Yes they are so very Kentish.