My beloved husband, Kent, died in January 2012, 3 years after diagnosis of a brain tumour. Our son was 2 1/2 and our daughter 3 months old. He and I were far too young. I am now hurtling through the black space of life without him.

Sunday, 13 May 2012

I'm sorry, but...

The last post was probably enough, but there is something similar on my mind that for some reason I have to say out loud, though I am struggling to find the right words tonight.

I think we think we will be protected from such tragic things happening to us. Perhaps your God will protect you, He loves you too much to have you experience such grief. Or the love that you have within your family is so strong it can't be ripped apart. The history you share with your loved one is too deep, the dreams you have for your future so wonderful, that nothing could stand in the way. But I can't, I can't let you think that. Because if you do, what does that say about us? We had it all. We had the love, we had the depth, we had the dreams, we had the history, we had the future. We had the family. We had it as good as it can be.

I'm sorry, I know it's mean of me. You don't really need to be made to feel vulnerable. This won't happen to you. It only happens to one in whatever, and we're the one and you're the whatever. I just need to say aloud that what we had was as good as you can get and still it has been taken.

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